As twenty-somethings, we are constantly asked to evaluate the life we’ve lived. Everyone seems to have a quarter-life bucket list, and we are made to feel as though we must accomplish everything on that list to validate our existence. In some ways (though definitely not all), the pressure is greater for women.
Are we on our way to “having it all?”
Do we have successful careers?
Do we pay our own bills?
Are we going to have a family?
When we were younger, the most common question we were asked was “What do you want to be when you grow up?” When I was asked that question, I answered with the age 25 in mind.
Now that I’m actually approaching 25, I don’t know what the hell my childhood self was thinking because, more often than not, I have to worry about paying bills. I don’t know what kind of reality I was striving for, but it’s pretty damn evident it isn’t happening anytime soon. And you know what? I’m pretty okay with it. Sure, I may be currently shopping for a dress to wear to someone else’s wedding, but it’s a hell of a lot better than shopping for a dress for my own wedding.
But isn’t it weird that we’re at that age? You know, the age when some of our closest friends are moving in with their significant others while others are still blacking out on a Tuesday? Today morning I got to know that 3 of my good friends are getting engaged, one bought another apartment with her husband.
Some days I wish I was part of the former happily engaged/ married/ settled group and sometimes I wish I was part of the latter, but one thing is for certain — I’ve never felt older.
So what sad realizations are our childhood selves in for?
1. I thought I’d be engaged by now, but I’m still trying to figure out if my relationship is going somewhere solid.
2. I thought I’d be able to perfect a home-cooked meal, but I’m still resorting to online food delivery. Not that I can not cook but usually I do not have the time for it or I am too lazy.
3. I thought I’d have the perfect apartment, but I’m still sharing it with two roommates. Not that I am complaining but I do miss my personal space sometimes.
4. I thought I’d be sharing my life, but I won’t even share my chips.
5. I thought my book would be published by now but I am still stuck on chapter 6.
One good thing is once I thought I’d have endless friends, but now I only want to surround myself with real ones and I keep my preferred loved ones closer to me.
So women take a note of what I tell you now:
1). Don’t feel bad every time a new Facebook friend gets engaged/married or has a baby. This is 2016. People are tying the knot and becoming parents later now, so don’t feel like you’re so behind simply because folks you went to high school with appear to be growing up.
2). Avoid too much conversation with text. Phone calls, emails, and of course in-person meetings are always more meaningful. Strive to have more of these.
3). Don’t get too comfortable at work. You never know when your bosses could decide to move forward without you, and it’s important to maintain a strong work ethic no matter what, even if you realize your job ultimately isn’t the right fit.
4). Grocery shopping while hungry. We all know this doesn’t end well.
5). Don’t forget to say “Thank You”. Thank you notes may seem old school, but they’re still totally necessary and relevant. Whenever someone gives you a present, remember to send a thank you letter or email. If you’ve run out of stamps or become really busy, give the person a call to let them know you haven’t forgotten about the nice thing they’ve done. A sincere “thank you” goes a long way, and that’s never going to change.
6). Have fun on your own. Not everyone is built for traveling the world solo, but being able to entertain yourself is a seriously underrated skill.
7). Walk away. From a friendship, a job, a relationship, an argument, and anything else that you know in your heart just isn’t right.
Lots of Love,