We are the different generation. And by that I mean – we earn our living, stay away from parents (in some cases), make our own friends, survive the cruel corporate world, deal with roommates (some lucky ones have nice roommates like mine), maintain relations with family, stay social, keep increasing our knowledge to boost career, handle love life if that exists and much more.. So yes, it is not the same as it was in 90’s and thus the expectation that our elders sometime have from us is not legitimate.
We can not expect anyone who is not close to us (colleagues, neighbours, roommates, by-the-way friends, maid) to help us to ease our lives. We can only expect from our parents and then our close friends who have turned into family for us. We do try to keep up in all the sections of our life, but it would be great if our close ones could make our life a little easier by not giving as added sentiments of not finding time for them, or not visiting them enough or having other priorities.
Also lately I have observed and realised that once the children move away from home to a different city for education or job, parents become a little insecure & paranoid. They feel that the children don’t love them anymore which is absurd.
I feel if the parents have given happy memories to cherish, the child is bound to look back and go back to them.
If laughter & memories are created in a home, if love is shown and not just kept hidden considering the person is very introvert- the child is going to return back to his roots/ his home. If love and happiness are given importance, any family can survive all odds. If any situation is taken lightly or sorted upon, life gets easy. As someone rightly said ‘Everytime you are able to find some humour in a difficult situation, you win.’
I will make it simple for you…
I stay in Mumbai & I travel by rickshaw each day. One day my rickshaw driver was an old man who picked me up from Powai police station area and dropped me near Chandiwali Dmart which is hardly 2 kms but since it was raining I couldn’t take a walk home. The meter billed to 18 Re. Now, since I sat in his rickshaw at around 8pm I assumed that the driver had a change of 50 Re atleast considering he was driving from morning. When I got off and handed over the 50Re note, he scolded me. Yes, he SCOLDED me saying when i was travelling such a small distance why wasn’t I carrying change. I was taken aback for 5 seconds precisely for two reasons. First – language and the way he spoke was very arrogant and rude. There was no need for him to scold me and he can not assume that I would have change with me. Me expecting the rickshaw driver to have 32 Re change is not wrong since he was driving from morning but him expecting me to have 18Re change was absurd. Even if his assumption is justified, the tone can not be justified. Second – I am a girl. Some respect is demanded by the fairer gender. You can in no ways talk to a female in the same tone as you talk with a man. Yes, we fight for equality but we can skip the rudeness and curses. Later that night, I wanted a happy sleep so I told myself that maybe he had a bad day and I shouldn’t take it too personally. Also it is better to get rid of negative vibes from your life. Your vision will become more clear when you distance yourself from negativity.
The very next day, I left from my house and the very first question I asked the rickshaw driver was – “aapke paas 500 ka change hoga?” (Do you have change for 500Re note). Since it takes only 32Re for me to reach office & keeping in mind the incident from the previous night, I thought I should not even board the rickshaw if he doesn’t have change. The driver refused of having the change but to my surprise asked me to sit in the rickshaw. I said there would be problems later, to which he replied that he would get off at a pan shop and get change for my 500 Re. Yes, Good men exist. He took the note from me and asked me not to get down as again it was raining (thoughtful of him), got the change, dropped me at my office. He had trained himself to find good in every situation. I smiled and thanked him.
I realised there was a major difference between both the drivers. One only focused on problems – no change for 50 Re was a big problem to him, so much so that he got angry & rude to a female, the other one was focused on getting passenger and helping them. He knew that the problem of not getting change for bigger denominations is going to last until he drives the rickshaw. But he found a solution to it and went to pan shop at the corner of each road and got change when needed. He had a positive mindset and solution to his everyday problem.
Remember ‘If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world’.
What I wanted to say was – You should not only stay positive and focus on good things but also bring a solution to your problems. Only then can you have a peaceful sleep each night. To relate this, For every 20+ something working/studying in a different city make it easier for the elderly to understand us, get some gifts every time you go home, cook a meal for your parents and ask them to take a break, create happy vibes. And for every parent out there irrespective of their children staying with them or away from them – try to give them good memories to hold on to. It’s human nature that if they remembers good things , good people, happy space, good memories -they will have an urge to return to that place/person.
I will give you a cheat code – It is very easy to lure our generation. Just give us happiness & support us, we will bring mountains down for you. You trust us and we will conquer all that we can.
Our generation don’t ask for money, they need support which would help them to build their own happy castle.
Stay happy. Stay healthy. Create happy vibes.
Have a great weekend all 🙂